Computer Facebook Status

→ Writing. Like. This. Doesn’t. Make. Your. Point. Any. Stronger. It. Makes. It. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has. Asthma.

→ That awkward moment when you have 10 tabs open and you cant figure out which one the music is coming from.

→ People always talk about how “gamers” don`t have a life but actually, when you think about it, they have lots of lives...

→ Dear Internet users, you`re gonna regret not reading me one day, Sincerely, Terms & Condition !

→ YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?

→ Who ever invented the "copy and paste" has saved many hours of my life.

→ TheSpaceButtonDoesn`tWork :-)

→ I changed all my passwords to "incorrect". So my computer just tells me when I forget.

→ The 3 most common lies on the internet: 1. I have read and agree to the terms of service 2. Status: offline. 3. Yes, I am over 18 years old.

→ Dear internet, Please stop being so awesome. Sincerely, I need to sleep.

→ Google turned 12 this year, which means we only have one year left to use it. When it becomes a teenager, it won`t answer anything.

→ You know the economy`s in trouble when America`s main export is tweets.

→ The computer just crashed and erased all the work I didn`t do this morning.

→ Have you noticed that the “lol” symbol looks like a drowning guy? I bet he’s not laughing out
loud.

→ I Have deleted 8.5 gb woth of crap from my laptop, But the damn thing still weighs the same !!

→ Im never having kids, i hear they take 9 months to download!

→ Breaking News. Steve Jobs is to buy Ireland to solve the debt problem. It will be rebranded iLand.

→ No microsoft word, I`m pretty sure I know how to spell my name.

→ *Low battery* Yeah story of my life :|

→ I love Google. It`s like the brain I never got.

→ Some people can`t sleep because they have insomnia. I can`t sleep because I have Internet connection.

→ Everything would be easier if we could Google how a certain person felt about us!

→ I hate it when people go offline when u`re typing!!

→ If Google can`t find it, it doesn`t exist!

→ I`m a sinner. I lie so much about "I have read and agree to the terms of use" on websites :)

→ 1970: What`s a Computer? 1990: Computer`s in school!!? 2000:

→ YOU WANNA ARGUE? BRING IT! I GOT MY CAPS LOCK ON!

→ I remember when Blackberry’s and apple’s were just fruit! :)

→ The ridiculous email addresses you make when your 8 and continue to use.

→ press F13……. like if you laughed ;)

→ I don`t know... Google it !

→ no matter you do on the computer you always end up on facebook.

→ Clicking "home" every 2 minutes to see if anythings changed.

→ "Typewriter" is the longest word, that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard!

→ I remember when i was a kid i went on the computer just to use paint =)

→ I can only type fast on my own keyboard.

→ Typing `lol` when your face shows less expression than a brick.

→ I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I am upto. . .

→ Do not judge a book by its first page. Do not judge a blog by its first post.

→ When we are Not Working, we are Networking!

→ the best April Fools` prank of the year: just try searching for "Helvetica" in Google right now. Go ahead. I`ll wait.

→ Smartphones: The best thing to happen to bathrooms since the newspaper.

→ have you ever had a fly or a small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor??

→ Yelling At A Video Game When You Get Killed

→ Type lol but your face shows less expression then a doornail

→ That awkward moment when you think you are typing something and you look up and there is nothing there!!

→ iMac+iPod+iPhone+iPad= iBroke

→ That awkward moment when someone`s staring at your keyboard while you`re typing your password.

→ That `` HELL YEAH`` moment after you read a text post that exactly tell what you really feel and think.

→ Sometimes when my internet is down, I forget that the rest of my computer still works...

→ News: "Microsoft buys Skype for $8.5 billion"
Bloody fools they could have downloaded it for free...

→ Hey Google.............Why don`t you let me finish what I`m typing before you start guessing after one letter.... Little cocky aren`t we?

→ pause a video on 0 seconds on youtube...press and hold the left arow key then press up arrow key.....enjoy playing snakes..!!:P

→ Facebook asks what I’m thinking. Twitter asks what I’m doing. Foursquare asks where I am. The internet has turned into the F.B.I.

→ I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldn`t have to go downstairs and be disappointed.

→ Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

→ A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer

→ If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
→
We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

→ Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

→ A computer program will always do what you tell it to, and seldom what you want it to.

→ I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

→ The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

→ My GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time." I see "Time to Beat."

→ I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

→ All the landmarks and millions of beautiful places on Google Earth, and the first thing everyone looks at is their own house

→ I hate waiting for someone to illegally upload so I can illegally download.

→ We have all experienced the pain of watching a slow typer.

→ I'm afraid people can see me through my web cam even though its off.

→ I hate that I always notice a typo when the text is already sending

→ iTunes: I never read and will never read your 55 page terms of use, I will always agree, so stop asking me to reaccept

→ Kinda feels weird when your computer asks if you'd like to continue unprotected....

Auto correct can go straight to He'll

→ I renamed all my files "the world," so everyday when I "save" the world I feel important.

→ "cannot connect to network. try resetting your wireless router" umm ok but what if my router is in my neighbor's house? Should I call him?

→ "Username or Password Incorrect" You couldn't just tell me which one?

→ Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider's home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy...you just hoped nobody found out.

→ My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster.

→ "You are probably a 30-year old fat drunk dude with nothing better to do than play video games" - An incredibly correct kid on Xbox Live

→ My printer's out of ink. Time to buy a new printer. Seriously it's cheaper.

→ Why does every wireless provider say that they have the best, fastest, most covered 4G network? Someone's lying.

→ Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, "Close Enough."

→ I only check my Voicemail to get rid of that little icon in the screen.

→ I don't take anything you say seriously. You're just an idiot who has internet access.

→ My neighbor's router is unlocked, should I password it for him?

→ note to self: don't set your password reminder as "you should know this"

→ According to WebMD my symptoms mean I died 3 years ago.

→ the internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head

→ Playing songs on shuffle is like Russian roulette for my emotions.

→ Can’t wait to get off work, then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer, and go stare at a different computer.

→ I had a life once. Now I have an internet connection and a Mac book.

→ Go to Google Translate. Set translate from English to Japanese. Type I HATE YOU into the translate box. Then laugh.

→ Dear software makers, when you make me close my browser or reboot my computer after installing something minor, I hate you.

→ I'll use Photoshop when they finally give us a "remove drunkface" tool.

→ There should be an "undo" button in an elevator for when you accidentally hit the wrong floor.

→ I live in constant fear of dropping my iPhone

→ I would get a phone with video chat but everyone I know is ugly.

→ Don't make me use UPPERCASE.

→ Sometimes life just needs a good, hard CTRL ALT DELETE.

→ Save as: "fjhdsk" ... The file "fjhdsk" already exists ... "fjhdsk 2".

→ You can go pretty much go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

→ I'm about to like all over the place

→ I wish guys were like Chatroulette and you could just click "Next" to get to a good one

→ If I call you and you don't answer, I will sing on your voicemail.

→ They really need to add a “download this song illegally” button on Pandora.

→ The Windows Update reminder to restart your computer is like a little kid. You tell it that you'll restart later, so it goes away, then it pops up again in two minutes and says "Ok, it's later!".

→ How come whenever I tell someone I play guitar, they challenge me to Guitar Hero? I have never challenged a veteran to Call of Duty.

→ Where do all the characters go that you type on the keyboard before you realize the cursor isn't in the box?

→ An Apple a day keeps Windows away.

→ If your password is your name, you deserve to be hacked.

→ Spitting beer on someone is not a pick up line, trust me.

→ My internet is so slow, it would be faster to just drive to Google's headquarters and ask them this shit in person.

→ Hulu is coming to PS3. Finally I can watch TV on my TV.

→ Playing Minesweeper all day in honor of the Chilean mine rescue.

→ I wish the Microsoft Paperclip would just pop up when I'm making a questionable decision for my life.

→ If you're bored creating your PowerPoint presentation, everyone else will be bored when you present it.

→ I just wrote a Wikipedia article about your Mom.